Not much going on

Well, I have to apologize. There hasn't been alot going on with me lately. Will has been pretty nice to his dad lately, so I do not have any poopie pictures to share. It's not hunting season, so I do not have any dead animals to post and I have not played Webkinz lately, so I don't even have any jokes to share. Please come back. I promise to have something spicy for my next post.
I need to make this short, because I have really been studying hard and attending a Linux class, which means that I have nothing interesting rattling around my head. If any of you want to talk about kernels, bash scripts or grep commands, please let me know. Tonya is begging me to not be too geeky and embarrass her, so I had better change the subject.
On a better note, it is almost turkey season so Jackson and I are starting to get excited. I am also proud to say that the babies love to hear gobbles and turkey calls. Maybe they are just smiling because Jackson and I have been strutting around them and making funny noises. Nah, that couldn't be it.

Time To Explain

Let's get something straight. If you are going to read my man blog, you've got to remember the rules this blog was founded on. Nowhere in the blog bylaws are there promises of correct speelling, political correctness, or funny jokes. A couple of posts ago, I enlightened everyone with my newfound Webkinz jokes. I have had several people ask, what I was thinking. My mom even asked me if I had been drinking when I called and told them to her. (I must note that she has never asked me that before!)
Please refer to the post below if you have not read it yet. It seems that every female that reads my blog does not get my joke about the salad dressing. I think the men get it because they expect less from me. Although Tonya doesn't expect much either. Anyway you have to admit that it is a little funny that in the joke, I was embarrassed by seeing the salad dressing. (For you girls that still do not get it, I saw the salad putting clothes on.) See there, now you've done it. There is another great joke ruined by having to explain it. In this case, I don't think that there is much lost.
OK, let's make a deal. If you keep reading this sorry excuse for a blog, I promise to not get any more jokes from Webkinz.

Does Anyone Know How To Clean Carpets?

It's Friday night and Tonya has left me with the kids. She's off scrapbooking with the girls. I usually pride myself on being able to handle all of our kids without Momma's help.

Tonight started out pretty well. I fed the babies their sweet potatoes and the Ashton was begging me to watch hunting shows. After a while, I was actually thinking that the night was going pretty well. Then Will started crying. I figured that I would change both the boys, pour a little milk in 'em and put them to bed.

I could smell that Will had made a present for me, so I laid him in the floor and started changing him. He was wearing a onesy (I have never tried to spell that before.) and some pants. When I took off his pants nothing was out of the ordinary. Then I unbuttoned his onesy and pulled it up his back to give me room to change his diaper. It was then that I noticed that this was no ordinary diaper. When I lifted him back up, I could see poop all over the carpet. He had pooped up his back and I had unleashed its wrath.

Since this is a man blog I am attaching pictures. It was really something to behold. I did not know what to do. During his last blowout, Tonya had tried to teach me how to roll his shirt off so that I would not get doodie all over him. I promise that I tried, but I only got a hand full of crap that was stuck to the inside of his shirt. So now, I have poop on the floor, in my hand and all over the baby and I cannot get his shirt off without smearing it all over him more. All that I could think to do was to drag him onto the kitchen floor to gather myself. The picture below was after about 10 wipes.

At this point I think that I am getting things under control and then the older kids start to gaze at the situation Dad was in. This picture shows Ashton after she had stepped in the evidence. Jackson is on the counter getting his own milk. I can't wait till the twins can do that. Tonya would disagree. Ya' know, forget the milk thing. I can't wait till they can go to the bathroom and I am not cleaning baby mud out of my carpet.

Maybe next time, I will write about something cleaner.

Embarrassment

I guess since we are all friends, I can tell you about an embarrassing moment that I had the other day. At work I went to the kitchen to get my lunch out of the refridgerator. To make the situation worse, there happened to be alot of poeple making thier lunch at that time. When I opened the fridge, I was totally embarassed. You would never believe what I saw in the refridgerator.......

I saw the Salad Dressing!!

:) You may have forgotten that this is a man blog where stupid jokes are fair game.

Much like:

There are three kinds of people in this world. There are the kind of people that can count and the kind that cannot.

Maybe my next post will have a little substance to it. But don't count on it.